JNS
Many Israelis who lost sons and brothers in the Swords of Iron war are looking for positive avenues to channel their grief.
The Israel Defense Forces have suffered 850 deaths since the Swords of Iron war began on Oct. 7, 2023. This has produced a desire for the large number of newly bereaved families to memorialize their loved ones in unique and individualized ways, to best keep the memory of the fallen alive.
Staff Sgt. Maoz Morell, 22, a member of the Paratroopers Brigade's Reconnaissance Battalion from Talmon, 11 miles east of Modi'in, succumbed to his wounds on Feb. 19, 2024, four days after he was injured while fighting terrorists in Khan Yunis in the southern Gaza Strip.
His mother, Varda, told JNS that when Maoz was fighting in Gaza, as a coping mechanism, she would tell herself that he was just a "regular kid," and only the "special ones" were killed fighting in battle.
When Maoz was killed, along with her husband, Eitan, she realized that "with this seemingly normal everyday kid, there was so much greatness."
Varda explained that Maoz had learning disabilities and struggled at school growing up. However, he was able to overcome his difficulties and wasn't embarrassed to ask for help when he needed it.
The Morells have been extremely busy on speaking tours, traveling throughout Israel as well as to Jewish communities, synagogues, schools and summer camps in the United States, encouraging young people that they too can overcome any obstacle.
"We find that by sharing who our son was, and how he overcame his challenges, displaying heroism in his day-to-day life, and in battle when he was killed, we are able to inspire a lot of people. That's how his legacy is continuing," Varda said.
At least five babies have been named after Maoz, several by families they had never met, because of the "everyday greatness he exhibited," she shared. This has been very meaningful for the Morells, helping them to continue living despite their immense loss, Varda said.
Varda said that after he passed, the family was given a box with Maoz's personal items from his army base that included notebooks with lists he kept of daily goals, including getting up on time for morning prayers, paying attention to how he speaks to people, and trying not to be cynical, along with other messages toward self-improvement.
"Those are messages we try to pass on to others," she said. "Try to be a better person, set yourself goals, and choose steps to reach those goals. That's what we learned from his lists."
One of Maoz's friends built a scenic outlook post in his memory above the Judean Desert in the South Hebron Hills, Varda said. Another created a chuppah wedding canopy in his memory that is lent out to brides and grooms. "It's been used 15 times so far. That brings a lot of meaning to us," she said.
A man of many talents
Sgt. 1st Class (res.) Yakir Hexter, 26, who lived in Jerusalem, from the 8219th Battalion, Combat Engineering Corps, was killed on Jan. 8, 2024, in a rocket-propelled grenade attack also in Khan Yunis.
Yakir wore many hats, his mother, Chaya, told JNS. He was a trained architect and valedictorian of his class at architecture school. He was an artist and a tremendous athlete, winning his division of the Jerusalem Marathon at age 18. In 2022, he ran the half-marathon barefoot. He was also a barman and spent his spare time volunteering with children with disabilities.
"He excelled at everything he did," she said.
Yakir's younger brother Ezra has spearheaded many initiatives in his memory, Chaya explained.
Ezra organized a running team at the Jerusalem Marathon, in addition to a 5-kilometer barefoot run in the city's Sacher Park, with proceeds going to charity.
As a barman, Yakir had created his own unique gin-based cocktail, which included Skittles candies. Ezra has pushed for that drink, called "The Yakman" cocktail after Yakir's nickname, to be included in restaurants and bars in the capital's Mahane Yehuda market and other venues.
At the same time, Yakir's father, Josh, one of the founders of the Psagot Winery, has developed a red wine blend called "Yakir" in his son's memory.
Avid bikers Yakir and Josh were scheduled to participate in the annual Alyn Hospital "Wheels of Love" bike ride in 2023, which was supposed to kick off at the Be'eri Forest on Oct. 23. Following the Oct. 7 massacre, the event was canceled. However, the 2024 Alyn ride was held in Yakir's memory, along with several other soldiers who had been killed in action.
Chaya said she finds great solace in the fact that there are 10 babies named after Yakir, and there have been two Torah scrolls written and dedicated in his memory.
Following his death, the family discovered that for the past 10 years, when Yakir would disappear on Purim morning for long stretches of time, he was volunteering with an organization providing food and financial support to the city's individuals in need.
"I knew Yakir was incredible, but we're only now finding out about all of these cheseds (charitable acts) he was involved in," Chaya said.
"An athlete, a Torah scholar, a very good friend, smart, a gourmet chef, a marathon runner, a writer," he was these things, and much more," she said.
Giving hope
Both the Morrels and Hexters are grateful for the programming offered to bereaved families by the Koby Mandell Foundation.
The organization was founded by Seth and Sherri Mandell, whose son Koby, 13, and his friend, Yosef Ishran, 14, were murdered in a Gush Etzion terrorist attack in 2001.
Eliana Mandell Braner, Seth and Sherri's daughter, who has been the director of the foundation for the past three-and-a-half years, told JNS she sees how important it is for families to commemorate their loved ones individually.
"It is very important for families how a loved one will be specifically remembered, in the midst of so many others who were murdered or killed in the war," she said.
Using the Jerusalem Marathon as an example, Braner said the foundation had a team of runners composed of bereaved families, with each runner wearing a shirt with a picture of his or her loved ones along with a meaningful quote.
"They are going through so much grief and bereavement, it's very meaningful to see all the different shirts with the faces of those whom they lost," she said.
Braner said that during the foundation’s retreats held throughout the year for widows, mothers, parents and siblings, respectively, when the families see what the Mandels have done to memorialize Koby, it inspires them on how to commemorate their own loved ones.
"It gives them perspective," she said. "We are commemorating 24 years since Koby was murdered, and when they see how we are living and thriving 24 years later, it gives them hope."
She added, "Right now, these families are all 'surviving.' They don't have the capacity yet to do anything else but survive, so close to having lost a loved one. When they see other families who are 'living,' it gives them hope."
